As a result of Medicaid and Medicare currently paying beneath the necessary costs to provide premium residential services and treatment programs, we are not able to contract or accept these methods of payment.
When we think the parent-child dynamic in the context of addiction, we almost always think about the parent at their wit’s end trying to get help for their addicted son or daughter. The reality is, however, that it’s often the parents of underage and adult children who struggle with addiction, and often wind up impacting their children for years to come as a result. Between alcohol addiction and the escalating opioid crisis affecting baby boomers and older seniors, addiction is a public health issue that doesn’t discriminate based on age.
If the father of your child is struggling with addiction, there is a whole other level of urgency you need to observe in your attempt to get them help in order to ensure the safety and long-term well-being of you and your child while getting your partner or co-parent a second chance at life in recovery. Data from the United States Department of Health and Human Services indicates parental alcohol or other drug use as a contributing factor for child removal increased from 18% to over 35% in the last 16 years. At the same time, while there is obviously no guarantee, a commonly cited body of research suggests that children of addicts are eight times as likely to become addicts themselves.
In order to break the cycle of addiction and protect you child from immediate harm, here are some steps you can take to get the father of your child the help they need.
Make Sure You and Your Child are Safe
You need to be able to help the father of your child from a position of strength and stability. The reality of addiction is that it puts both the addict and the people they love in dangerous situations, and very often jeopardizes their immediate health and safety. Before you can take steps to help your loved one, make sure your living situation is secure and that you and your child have somewhere to go in the event of escalation. Call a friend or family member, if necessary.
While it may seem initially harsh, sometimes the best thing you can do is show the addicted father of your child what can happen if they don’t get clean. Tell the father of your child as calmly and rationally as possible, without exercising judgment, that you simply can’t put your child at risk by allowing visitation until they get clean. It may be necessary to take legal action in this case. Courts may automatically intervene and mandate treatment, depending on the specific circumstances.
Some of the signs that the father of your child may have a drug problem can include:
Increasing Irresponsibility Regarding Care (Forgetting about Important Events, Not Showing, Driving them around While, Etc.)
Professional or Financial Problems (Job Loss, Spending Savings on Drugs, Etc.)
Prolonged Periods of Absence or Isolation
Erratic, Risky and Potentially Illegal Behavior
Lying about Whereabouts and Other Things
If your child’s father is exhibiting these physical indicators or any behavioral signs of addiction, it’s time to get them help.
Engage Them Calmly and Rationally about Treatment
Before things escalate to the point of consequences; however, try talking to the addicted father of your child about the prospect of getting help for both themselves and your child. Offer to help them in their search for care. If they see that they have a partner in this endeavor, and that they can lean on you for support, they might be more receptive to entering treatment. Help can mean anything from assisting in their search for a treatment center by calling or going online to offering to help cover some of their treatment costs through your insurance if they aren’t adequately covered by their own plan. There is no blueprint for this, but as along you are willing to help, let them know.
Get Others Involved in their Treatment
Even though your child’s safety and emotional well-being may be tied to their father’s recovery, and you have a tremendous personal stake in their progress, this can’t be entirely up to you. Reach out to his family, close friends and other important people in his life to try and organize a meeting or intervention. An intervention should be led by an experienced, trained and qualified professional who can keep the process from becoming overtly emotional, assist with making treatment arrangements and help your group coordinate actual logistics of the meeting. It’s important to make treatment arrangements ahead of time to avoid any the pitfalls of any second thoughts your child’s father may have.
We’re Ready to Help Your Child Get His Father Back
The Ridge has helped thousands of co-parents just like you start to reconnect your family through comprehensive alcohol and drug addiction treatment. Whether you and your child’s father are married, separated or share parentage in any other model, your child deserves to have two parents who love, support and show up for them.
The term co-occurring disorder (also referred to as dual-diagnosis) is the term used to indicate a person who has one or more disorders relating to the use of alcohol and/or other drugs of abuse as well as one or more mental disorders.
Mental illness versus substance abuse graphic highlights co-occurring disorders.
A diagnosis of co-occurring disorders is made when at least one disorder of each type can be established independent of the other and is not simply a cluster of symptoms resulting from one of the disorders. Either substance use or mental illness can begin first. Some individuals who have mental illness may use a substance as a means of reducing their symptoms. This is often referred to as “self-medicating”. The term mental health disorder generally refers to mood disorders (Depression, Bipolar), anxiety disorders (Generalized anxiety disorder, Panic Disorder, Social Anxiety Disorder), Trauma or Stressor related disorders (PTSD, adjustment disorders), thought disorders (Schizophrenia), and other disorders not substance related or induced by substances. The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual 5 or DSM 5 is the national standard for definition of mental disorders.
According to the National Survey on Drug Use and Health (NSDUH) approximately 9.2 million adults experienced both substance use disorder and a mental illness in 2018. The NSDUH data for 2018 provides a few general trends worth noting these include; increasing rates of serious mental illness, major depression, and suicidality in young adults and major gaps in treatment received by those affected. The NSDUH data for 2018 also illustrated increased rates of substance use among those who have mental illness compared to those who have no mental illness. Suicidal thinking and attempts are also higher in those who have substance use disorders and those who have co-occurring mental illness. Those with co-occurring illness have higher rates of relapse.
How Can my Doctor Determine if I have a Co-Occurring Disorder?
It is important to let your doctor know if you are using any substances including herbal or over the counter supplements. If a doctor or licensed counselor is unaware of substance use, they may provide an inaccurate diagnosis or treatment. Your doctor will attempt to determine if the symptoms are caused by a substance, medication (given by a doctor, over the counter, or taken without prescription) or a general medical condition. In addition to asking questions your doctor may perform a physical examination and order other tests such as blood work or request to review your previous treatment records.
Your doctor will ask about your history of substance use and mental health symptoms. If a period of sobriety has occurred this can often help in clarifying the diagnosis. For example, if you noticed feeling depressed while using alcohol on a regular basis the feelings of depression could be due to alcohol. If you then stop using alcohol and notice feelings of depressed stop this suggests alcohol was the cause of the symptoms. On the other hand if cessation of substance use does not alleviate mental health symptoms an independent mental health diagnosis may be the cause. For many a period of abstinence is not possible or waiting to clarify the diagnosis is not an available luxury and treatment of both is recommended. In these cases working closely with your doctor over time is critical.
What Can I do if I Think I have Either a Substance Use Disorder, Mental Health Disorder, or Both?
Speak with your doctor or a counselor. For many individuals their primary care provider (PCP) or family physician is the first contact made. An individual can also seek an assessment with a psychiatrist or licensed mental health counselor.
Some offices/agencies require appointments made ahead of time while others offer walk in assessment hours on specified days.
An excellent resource can be found on the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration or SAMHSA website. This website provides a treatment locator for substance use disorder, mental disorders, or both.
You can also contact your insurance carrier and request a list of providers who accept your insurance. This can also be done online with many companies.
Treatment may include the use of medication, therapy, combination of medication/therapy and self-help groups. The treatment setting in which treatment is provided can vary and is based on theindividual needs of the person seeking treatment. Some typical treatment settings include: residential treatment, partial hospitalization, intensive outpatient, after care and outpatient. It is important to remember that treatment needs can vary over time and an individual may find benefit from transitioning to more intensive treatment during times of symptom worsening. During times of symptoms remission and stability an individual may opt to reduce the intensity of their services. Always let your doctor or counselor know if you have unmet treatment needs so you can work collaboratively to address them.
Effective treatment realizes recovery does not occur in days but rather in months and years. Those with co-occurring disorders, substance use disorder, or mental illness do not achieve functional improvements or stability quickly but gradually through regular engagement with a consistent treatment program tailored to their individual needs.
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration. Integrated Treatment for Co-Occurring Disorders: The Evidence. DHHS Pub. No. SMA-08-4366, Rockville, MD: Center for Mental Health Services, Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration, U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, 2009.