Self-sabotage in recovery refers to damaging behaviors that slow down an individual’s progress in dealing with addiction.
It is not always easy to recognize a self-sabotager. They are good at hiding their sabotaging tendencies, often appearing to function on the outside. However, if you suspect that your loved one or a friend is sabotaging their recovery, there are a few clear indicators for this.
A self-sabotager usually relapses by engaging in risky behaviors, neglecting self-care, and isolating themselves from support systems. This behavior is usually a result of deep emotional issues that hinder your recovery process. They cause self-destructive tendencies.
Despite recognizing situations that can lead to relapsing, alcoholics tend to self-sabotage by engaging in them. They tell themselves it is not a big deal and that they are stronger than their addiction.
In this article, we explain how to recognize when you are self-sabotaging your recovery process. We also show you how to build healthy coping mechanisms through self-awareness and motivation.
What Is Self-Sabotage in Recovery?
Self-sabotage is an internal conflict that leads individuals to destructive thoughts and behaviors. This happens despite their desire to heal and achieve sobriety. Self-sabotaging is driven by fear, anxiety, depression, and trauma. These emotions require addressing and working on in therapy.
In recovery, self-sabotage happens when an individual is overwhelmed with pressure to stay sober. They often doubt they will succeed or struggle with change. This leads to negative self-talk that triggers harmful behavior, slips, and relapses.
Helping a functioning alcoholic not to fall victim to these harmful patterns is essential. Here is how to recognize self-sabotaging behaviors in recovery alcoholics typically engage in:
- Minimizing past substance use
- Criticizing personal progress
- Avoiding support systems and isolating from others
- Procrastination in recovery
- Rationalizing harmful actions
- Ignoring warning signs of potential relapses
- Engaging in risky situations
- Reverting to old coping mechanisms
Why Does it Matter?
Self-sabotage creates a vicious cycle that delays progress for individuals trying to achieve sobriety. It hinders their improvement and growth by making them question their decisions and their choice to get better.
This has detrimental effects on both physical and emotional well-being. It can make you feel nervous and irritated. This erodes confidence while simultaneously contributing to prolonging health damage due to drinking.
As a result, you are more hesitant to deal with the obstacles of recovery. Instead, you embrace your failures as unavoidable and return to old, unhealthy habits.
These unhealthy habits can be either a few or all of the following:
- Chronic relapse cycles
- Emotional instability
- Deteriorating relationships
- Loss of motivation
- Isolation
- Increased health risks
- Reduced quality of life
Self-Sabotage Behaviors in Addiction Recovery
There are many self-critical behaviors that alcoholics engage in when self-sabotaging recovery. These behaviors include procrastinating important tasks, neglecting self-care routines, and undermining their success. Seek more profound causes for self-sabotaging tendencies in therapy or counseling as a regular part of your recovery.
Here are the most common self-sabotaging behaviors during addiction recovery.
Negative Self-Talk and Beliefs
Negative thoughts and emotions are frequent signs of self-sabotage that hinder your recovery. They are similar to the ones that make people become alcoholics. They include:
- Making excuses for failures
- Blaming your troubles on external circumstances
- Comparing yourself negatively to others
- Sabotaging opportunities for growth
- Rejecting help from others
- Justifying destructive behaviors
- Resisting positive change
- Doubting your ability to recover
Procrastination and Avoidance
Procrastination and avoidance are pretty common in alcoholics. These habits undermine your recovery by urging you to act avoidant, insecure, and overall self-destructive.
This is a result of patients’ discomfort in addressing more profound emotional trauma. Avoidance is often the root cause of alcoholism. It makes people feel isolated, doubtful, and resistant to change. Also, avoidance and isolation both lead to impulsive and regretful behaviors.
Relapse Triggers and Risky Behaviors
Engaging in risky behaviors is one of the most challenging self-sabotaging techniques. It is an example of deflection or minimization of issues by alcoholics. They want to feel just like everybody else by negating their addiction.
Common relapse triggers for alcoholics are:
- Emotional stress: Feeling anxious, pessimistic, or unmotivated about your recovery.
- Social pressures: Being around friends and family who engage in substance use.
- Environmental cues: Going to places where there is alcohol or partying will lead to relapsing into old habits.
- Overconfidence: Believing one drink will not make a difference and hinder recovery.
- Romanticizing previous substance use: Thinking back to previous substance use as “the good times”. This is followed by neglecting to address the negative consequences of drinking on your health and relationships.
Isolation and Withdrawal of Support Systems
Isolation is an influential factor that often leads alcoholics back to their old habits. It presents a lack of encouragement for people facing challenges in their recovery journey that triggers more emotional pain, shame, and loneliness.
The common signs of isolation in alcoholics are:
- Avoiding calls and messages
- Skipping support groups and therapy meetings
- Withdrawing emotionally from close relationships
- Making excuses to avoid social interactions and declining invitations
- Deflecting responsibility at work or towards your loved ones
- Neglecting self-care and personal hygiene
Perfectionism and Unrealistic Expectations
Perfectionism is a dangerous form of self-sabotage that sets unrealistic expectations for recovery. It refers to trusting the feelings of empowerment and resilience you may not yet have. As a result, you are setting yourself up for failure.
Perfectionism also deters people from asking for help because it requires them to admit their weaknesses. Over time, this can erode confidence and cause people to give up on recovery entirely.
Instead, here are some realistic and achievable goals to set:
- Celebrate small victories that add up.
- Embrace imperfections in yourself and others.
- Prioritize self-care.
- Avoid comparing yourself to others.
- Lean on support systems.
- Focus on long-term success.
Why Do People in Recovery Self-Sabotage?
Self-sabotage in recovery is a sign of unresolved, deeper emotional issues. It contributes to a growing emotional burden that makes alcoholics fearful of change and maintaining recovery.
The fear of success is equally present as the fear of failure in alcoholics. Many patients do not think that they deserve progress and sobriety. They would rather stay in the same vicious cycle where they know how to numb the pain instead of building healthier habits.
How to Overcome Self-Defeating Behaviors
While self-sabotaging behaviors are common, every individual deals with them differently. The most successful ways of overcoming self-sabotage in recovery include:
- Increasing self-awareness about the severity of your addiction and how to manage it
- Setting realistic goals for recovery
- Challenging reactive, defensive, and inconsistent beliefs and thoughts
- Practicing accountability and avoiding blaming
- Building a strong support networks
- Celebrating progress
- Exercising mindfulness techniques and staying persistent
How to Prevent Self-Sabotage in Recovery
To prevent self-sabotaging, an alcoholic must practice self-awareness and honesty with themselves and others. Building healthy habits and routines is vital to avoid negative thinking and behaviors.
Avoid criticizing yourself for past mistakes and relapses. Acknowledge your progress and stay committed to learning new ways to prolong your sobriety and enrich your life.
When to Seek Professional Help
There isn’t a strict recommendation on when to seek professional help. This is different for each individual. At The Ridge Ohio, we recommend reaching out to a medical professional as soon as you recognize the first signs of addiction.
This can manifest as isolation or drinking to deal with challenges and avoid responsibilities. Often, alcoholics are not being able to control their substance use on their own. We encourage patients to be honest with themselves and practice accountability for the best recovery results.
The Ridge Ohio offers 24/7 support for patients and their support systems. Learn about building healthy habits and encouraging safe behavior that promotes sobriety.
Our experienced medical staff teaches resilience, self-awareness, and healthy coping mechanisms. We encourage our patients to practice vulnerability and openness to change.
Your stubbornness and perfectionistic tendencies can easily be conquered. Learn how to turn them into handy tools for successfully battling addiction.
Key Takeaways
- Self-sabotage is a common obstacle that many individuals frequently experience at some point in their recovery.
- Self-sabotage in recovery happens due to unresolved emotional trauma, resistance to change, or low confidence.
- Avoid negative self-talk, acknowledge your progress, and celebrate small milestones in your recovery journey.
- If you recognize you are self-sabotaging, try to avoid isolation, rely on support systems, or ask for professional help to prevent relapsing.
Frequently Asked Questions
Is Self-Sabotage Common in Recovery?
Yes, self-sabotage is quite common in recovery. Many alcoholics experience negative self-talk that makes them question if sobriety is the right path for them. Sometimes, challenges in recovery become quite overbearing, leading to isolation and harmful behavior. However, remember that self-sabotage is a frequent occurrence. It requires you to build a healthier mindset and habits.
Is Overthinking Self-Sabotaging?
Yes, overthinking is self-sabotaging. It leads individuals to paralysis by analysis. This term describes becoming so consumed with your negative thoughts that you cannot take action. Overthinking also leads to procrastination and avoidance.
Is Self-Sabotage Intentional Behavior?
No, self-sabotage is typically not an intentional behavior. It is rooted in deep, unresolved trauma that tends to fester if not dealt with properly. It makes alcoholics self-doubt, procrastinate, or rationalize their addiction to avoid change and progress. Self-sabotage aims to protect an individual from feelings of discomfort and vulnerability that often come up in recovery.
